In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
