I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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