watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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