I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
