I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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