Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
