I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize