So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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