Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
