im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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