I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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