i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
