I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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