I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
