Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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