just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
