do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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