the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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