So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
