I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
