i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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