My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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