I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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