I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
