I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Your penis caused this!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
