I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
