i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
