he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The Olympian is in my bed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
