i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
