When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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