i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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