your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
