So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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