I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
