You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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