He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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