The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
