OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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