Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
