i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
