my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
