exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
