Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
