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you win
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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