maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
