girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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