Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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