there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
