We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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