cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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