he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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