The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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