i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
