as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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