your thong is hanging out like whoa
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
