If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize