bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
