Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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