:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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