K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
