He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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