So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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