i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
