god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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