break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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