When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
