do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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