I think my fart just growled at me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
