I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
