Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
