he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
