I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
