I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
