piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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