Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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