So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
