Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize