Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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