Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
