dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
