I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I could fuck to npr.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
