I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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